


Always and Forever

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 02:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair finds that running away is not an easy answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always and Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Previously published in Love and Guns 5 
> 
> Warnings: Yes, there is an "other" for Blair, but this is really all about Blair and Jim and their love for each other. 

## Always and Forever

by J M Griffin

Author's disclaimer: Jim and Blair are not mine, damn it. They belong to Pet Fly and UPN. Ben is an original character of mine. Notes: I grew obsessed last year and wrote several slight AUs in which I worked to explain Jim and Blair's attitudes toward each other before and after Sen Too and Sen Too 2. This is one of them.

* * *

Always And Forever  
By J. M. Griffin 

Blair Sandburg turned the key in the lock and entered the cool apartment with a sigh of relief. 

"Whew, this heat is gonna kill me." He grinned to himself. There had been a time when he was always cold, when he'd lived in a city where it rained 364 days out of the year. He thought then that living in the south would be just the thing, but the humid, cloying heat in Houston, Texas was sometimes more than he bargained for. 

"Ben? Ben?" He called out, but his lover didn't answer. Hmmm. Ben had said he'd be home early, since it was his night to cook. Blair smiled to himself as he set his backpack on the table by the door; this meant they'd probably end up going out to eat. For Ben cooking was always a major production. The man simply could not throw together a quick meal. So Blair did most of the cooking, as he had when he'd lived with Jim. 

No. He told himself sternly. No going there. No Going There. Blair toed off his loafers and padded toward the bedroom. Ben had mentioned he was going to spend the time before his first class shopping for sheets and a bedspread for their new bed. 

Since Blair had met Ben Graham during Eli Stoddard's second anthropology expedition in Borneo and had mostly slept with him on the ground (the damn cots being too fucking narrow for... fucking) or in hotel rooms, he wasn't exactly sure what Ben would buy. Something fairly sedate he imagined, earth tones most probably. 

Blair flung the bedroom door open and took a look. He gasped, then staggered, going to his knees, his eyes filling with tears so fast he ended up simply resting his head against the carpeted floor as bitter sobs wracked him. 

The crisp new yellow comforter was folded back to reveal blue bed sheets. 

* * *

"Blair? Blair, what's with you tonight?" 

Blair looked up to find Ben staring at him with puzzled eyes. He put down his fork with a sigh. The Chinese take-out Ben had brought home with him was good, but Blair had no appetite. "Nothing. I'm sorry, man. I'm going to bed." He slid off his stool at the breakfast bar and took a step toward the bed room and stopped. Oh shit. "Ben, I...." 

What could he say that wouldn't sound stupid? How on earth was he going to handle this? Because he could not, COULD NOT go to bed in that room on those sheets. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 

Blair tried again, "Ben, I... I... I've got something I have to do." He blurted finally and ran out the door and down the stairs. 

"Blair! Blair!!" He could hear Ben calling to him from the landing, but he didn't stop for a second, just leaped into his car and drove out of the parking lot as fast as he could. 

He ended up at Hermann Park, a big, sprawling city park not far from Rice University where Ben taught. All the signs warned not to walk the paths after dark, but Blair didn't give it a second thought as he took to the foot trails. He walked and walked, ending up on the hill behind the outdoor theatre. He flopped back on the grass and looked up at the stars. The miasma from the city lights made the sky too blurry to seek out constellations even if he had wanted to star gaze. No, the blurriness of the night sky suited him, went along with the blurriness in his brain. Blair sighed and closed his eyes and tried to sort out the whirling thoughts within his head. 

A striped yellow comforter with blue sheets. He had woken, just once, with those sheets tangled round his body, Jim's arms holding him close. But later that morning, when Jim had woken, the bigger man had had trouble looking him in the eye, had flinched when Blair called him "lover." That had been the beginning of a course of events that had ended with Blair left for dead in a fountain in front of Rainier University. That had been the underlying reason behind all the conflict between himself and Jim Ellison. Jim Ellison, his best friend, his research project and his sentinel. His sentinel. His. 

On that morning, almost four months ago now, when Blair had woken up in the hospital after his near death experience, nothing had made sense to him. Jim had been in Peru hunting down Alex Barnes and all Blair's foggy brain had been able to center on was the pain of his body and heart. At the time, it had seemed that the only way to lose the pain was to flee from it. So when he had gotten the call from Eli Stoddard's secretary saying that the world renowned anthropologist could use Blair in Borneo, that his study had been extended, but his current assistant was leaving, Blair had leaped at the chance. 

It was the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his entire life. Except for when he had tried to teach Alex Barnes to be a sentinel. The woman might have had 5 heightened senses, but a sentinel she was not. Maybe if Blair had realized that sooner, things would not have happened as they did. But he had been so scared when he had woken up all alone. And things had been so fucked up between Jim and himself. He hadn't thought. He'd only run. 

The entire time Blair had been in Borneo he had kept his ear open for Sentinel tales and never heard a one. It kept him from thinking too much about other stuff and allowed him to rationalize that he was doing this as part of his doctoral studies. Then, three months later when the expedition ended, he'd forced himself to face the ugly truth. He'd never should have run like that. But run he had, and no amount of wishing could change that. So when Ben had offered, Blair had made the best of a bad situation and gone to Houston with him. 

Footsteps in the grass near him made Blair sit up and look around. 

"Blair?" It was Ben, of course. Yet for one, quick, flashing moment, Blair had hoped it was Jim. 

The tall, blond man hunkered down beside him, took off his glasses and slipped them into his pocket, then scrubbed at his eyes. "What is going on?" 

"How did you find me?" 

"Where else would you go? We've been here only three weeks, darlin.' It's my home, I know every nook and cranny. You only know the university and this park." Ben sat down on the grass and looked deeply into Blair's face. "Now tell me what's going on before I have to kill you." 

Blair laughed. This was why he was with Ben. The big, blond anthropologist (and research partner of Eli Stoddard) could always make him laugh and sometimes could even make him talk about what was troubling him. But not this time. Blair just shook his head. 

"Is it about Jim?" Ben said softly. "Did he contact you or something?" 

"Whoa, Ben!" Blair raised startled eyes to his lover. As far as he knew, he had never mentioned Jim's name to Ben. 

"Blair, you call out his name in your sleep. How could I not know?" Ben's green eyes were solemn. "Now, answer my question. The first one, not that last one. It was rhetorical." 

"The sheets and comforter on his bed..." Blair stopped, feeling like such a fool, but Ben just lifted one eyebrow and waited for him to finish. "They were blue and yellow." 

Both Ben's eyebrows shot up then and Blair had to stifle the urge to laugh hysterically. Ben shook his head slowly, pursing his lips thoughtfully. Then he reached out and gave Blair's ponytail a tug. "Time to stop running, Blair. Time to go home, don't you think?" 

"Ben," Blair's voice cracked on the name and threw himself into the taller man's arms. "What if he doesn't want me?" He said into the broad chest. 

"Weelll," Ben drawled out the word. "You can always come back to me." 

Blair's laugh was dark and bitter. "Ah, Ben. That is so not fair." 

Ben pulled back and tilted Blair's face up with a finger under his chin. "I knew from the beginning where you were with this. I know you love me, but that you aren't in love with me. I told you about Donald. What more can I say?" 

Blair bridged the small gap between them and gave Ben a brief, hard kiss. "I love you, man. Drive me to the airport?" 

Ben blinked, "Hobby or Intercontinental?" 

* * *

In the end, they went back to the apartment first and Blair packed. Ben watched him from across the room, instinctively giving him the space he needed. When Blair was done he turned to the other man and started once again to close the gap between them. Ben held up a slim, elegant hand. "No. No darlin,' let's just leave it at this. I don't think I could..." 

Blair saw the sheen of tears in the other man's eyes and honored his request. They didn't say much on the way to the airport. Once Blair had purchased his tickets, he turned to Ben. "I'll let you know how it goes." 

Ben gave a wan smile. "I'm counting on it." 

Blair grabbed the man and hugged him hard, then turned and made his way toward the metal detection gate. He could feel Ben's eyes on his back and he didn't dare turn around. He just mopped at his face and went to wait for his flight home. 

* * *

It was a four hour flight. The longest four hours of Blair's life, barring none. When they were about an hour out of Cascade he picked up the phone and called the loft. The phone rang and rang. What if Jim had moved? What if he was dead? (No, he'd know if Jim was dead. He just would.) Just as Blair pulled the phone from his ear, he heard someone pick up. 

"Jim?" He blurted out. 

"Blair!" 

And then Blair heard a strange, harsh noise. For a moment he was puzzled by the sound and then understanding dawned. Jim, his big, tough-cop friend and the love of his life, was crying. 

Blair knew tears were streaming down his own cheeks and the woman sandwiched in the seat next to him was looking at him oddly, but he didn't care in the least. 

After a time, Jim took a deep breath. "Where are you?" 

"On my way home. That is, if I still have one in Cascade." Blair wasn't sure how he got the words out, but he had done it and now he waited. 

"You do. Oh, god, you know you do." 

"I'm on flight 423. I'll be in at 11:30 your time." 

"I'll be there," Jim said quickly, "and Chief..." 

"Yes?" Blair could hear Jim's raspy breathing over the connection. 

"I love you." The big man said it gustily, all in a rush, and they were the sweetest words Blair had ever heard. 

Finis 


End file.
